Don’t read on if you don’t like trash.  Please.  Find some other blog upon which to linger.  I’m not even posting pictures until you’re gone.  Because this is going to be one of those wild and crazy trashy blogs.

Here we go.  First picture:

The first trash find:  a jar of....applesauce???

The first trash find: a jar of....applesauce???

Yep.  Today was Trash Day.  Time to fulfill the annual Earth Day pledge and clean up the litter along the road.  A week late, due to our foot of fresh snow April 22nd. One mile of road, more or less.  You walk up the road carrying little plastic bags and fill them with whatever trash human beings have tossed from moving vehicles onto the grasses and weeds and streams and snow.  Because the bags soon become too heavy to lug, you place them alongside the road, unfurl another, and continue to collect beer cans, beer bottles, pop cans (that’s soda for you non-Michiganders), cigarette packages, Styrofoam coffee cups, liquor bottles, and just about anything else you might imagine.  Later you drive your car back and pick up the 5-7 smaller bags and dump ’em in one huge blue Waste Management garbage bag.

I was not imagining finding  applesauce.  What a shock for the first trash discovery of the afternoon!

A child's pink sock

A child's pink sock

Then again, who would have imagined a pink sock just showing up on the road?  Did a little pig-tailed girl sitting in the back seat fling it out the window of the car, just because she could?  Did it blow out the back of a pickup truck?  Was she eating applesauce and threw both out the car window, mad at her mama?  There’s so many stories hiding in this litter.  From negligence to stupidity to ignorance to strange humor to under-aged minors wanting to get rid of evidence…the side of the road tells its strange trashy stories.

Tender but resilient greenery pushes up to reclaim the earth!

Tender but resilient greenery pushes up to reclaim the earth!

You wouldn’t believe what I found next.  Lottery tickets!  Yes, bits and pieces of a half dozen Michigan lottery tickets.  What if we won?  I pondered how to split the winnings with you blog readers.  Unfortunately, those of you who don’t comment are out of the loop, because I don’t know who you are.  Thus, the winnings will have to be split among commenters.  I’m really good at figuring out numbers and budgets, so this is the scoop:  we’ll add the number of comments, divide it by commenters and figure out a percentage.  The more you comment, the more you win!  We didn’t really win on these tickets, but there’s still hope for the rest of the year.  Keep commenting.  You may get lucky.  🙂

Did we win a million?

Did we win a million?

Oh there are so many other photos you could see.  The Ryan’s Irish-Style Cream Liqueur almost looked good enough to sample (NO Mom and Dad, I DID NOT SAMPLE IT!!) The shot gun shell (empty) seemed like a possible good north-woods piece of trash, probably discarded during bird hunting season.  The Grizzly chewing snuff package…well, I guess you have to see the snuff package.  Lots of our guys chew this stuff.  Don’t ask me how or why!  It’s one of those north-woods things to do.  No, Barry doesn’t. And I didn’t sample this either.

Grizzly Snuff:  for your chewing and spitting pleasure

Grizzly Snuff: for your chewing and spitting pleasure

Oh, yes.  I had a spiritual experience in the midst of the trash, as well.  Three quarters of the way through the up-and-down-aerobic exercises (where are those pointed sticks the highway department gives out to help people spear up trash like sensible folks?) I realized…oh no!…I was out of plastic bags.  What to do?  The only thing possible.  You say a prayer.  It goes like this, “Please, I need another plastic bag to show up along the road, soon, if possible.”  The secret is to completely release expectation.  Be prepared to walk home.  But then praise the Universe mightily when the first bag of the day appears.  Hurray!  It actually appeared.

(can't believe I'm actually posting a photo of a Walmart bag...but it's a spiritual Walmart bag)

(can't believe I'm actually posting a photo of a Walmart bag...but it's a spiritual Walmart bag)

Something else really exciting happened today, but you’ll have to wait until tomorrow to hear.  Hint:  a wild creature appeared among the trash.  Can you guess what it was?  Stay tuned!  Until tomorrow then…

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